A Shoulder to Cry On?
by spooksfan08
Summary: Natalie's father has been sent to prison. She isn't coping well. Can Ronnie help or will their feelngs muddy the waters even more? Can Matt and Alesha help or is Natalie set to leave the team forever? Set after last week's episode but with original team members around.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer I do not own Law and Order UK. All copyright belongs to Kudos, ITV and Dick Wolf. No copyright infringement is intended nor should be inferred. Slight, blink and you miss it cross over with Scott & Bailey.**

**A Shoulder to Cry On?**

Natalie stared into space, hardly able to believe what had happened. It seemed unreal, but she knew Ronnie had been right. Her father had been capable of killing a man. Her self opinionated, loud mouth, loving dad had killed a man. It may have been under provocation, it may have been manslaughter by means of diminished responsibility but her dear old dad had taken another man's life. Then he had lied about it. Even when the rest of the world knew he was lying. She closed her eyes for a moment as familiar footsteps approached her.

"Guv."

"Ronnie, I've been suspended." She looked up. "On Gardening Leave they said. Until they work out what is most appropriate. Apparently being the DCI of MIU isn't the done thing when your dad is a convicted killer." She rolled her eyes, knowing what her friend Jill would say. "I might go away for a bit. The boys are away at uni and with the school."

"Natalie."

"I could. Wes, has enough of my workload already to cover for me and the powers that be have wanted me gone for a while."

"Natalie." Ronnie touched her hand, bringing her back to the present. "You need to go home."

"Yeah." She sighed, "Ron, my dad is in prison."

"I know." He sighed. "I know luv."

"He killed someone. He killed a crook but he took a man's life." Natalie paused. "I thought I knew him. I thought I knew my Dad."

"Natalie, come on." He ushered her out of the foyer of the Old Bailey and down the steps to a taxi Matt had called for him earlier. He frowned as he watched his friend, his normally stoic and sensible boss fall apart in front of him. Quietly he gave the taxi driver Natalie's address before squeezing her hand as she fell silent.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"That was tough." Wes sighed as he walked out of the court. Kate and Jake glanced at the floor in front of them.

"What will happen to Natalie?" Kate asked, aware that Matt and Joe were just a few feet away talking to James and Alesha.

"How do you mean?" Wes frowned. "I know she's been on leave while the investigation was ongoing but it's over now."

"Don't be naive." Jake sighed. "You know what Kate is asking. What will happen to her career now she is a daughter of a convicted criminal?" Wes shrugged his shoulders.

"She has the best track record than the rest of us put together." Wes stated. "All I know is her job is safe. She took time out to look after her mum and had to take leave because of the trial but I dunno. The powers at be do not need a unfair or constructive dismissal on the books. She's too good a copper to let her go." Kate smiled slightly as she fell into step beside both men.

"Yeah, anyway I think Ronnie will look after her." Jake raised an eyebrow as Wes smirked,

xxxxxxxx

"You don't have to stay." Natalie sighed as she threw her purse on the kitchen table. "And you should have let me pay for the taxi."

"Don't be daft." Ronnie shrugged, watching as his friend went through the motions of making them coffee.

"You still got your sweet jar in the office?"

"Yeah."

"You till stopping the younger ones pinching one?"

"Sugar is bad for them. Too late for me, but Matt and Joe are obsessed with health and fitness so I am saving them from themselves. Anyway, eating sweets is bad for them. What sort of example is that to set young Cameron?" Ronnie smiled as Natalie looked up from the fridge. She blinked heavily as Ronnie realised what he had said. In a second Ronnie was at her side, wrapping her in his arms as she cried.

"Me and my big mouth." He whispered as she cried. "You will be ok. You and your boys will be fine." He rubbed soothing circles on her back as she cried. He felt Natalie nod against his shirt.

"Yeah." She pulled back. "Oh God, Ronnie I am sorry. Look at your shirt."

"It's fine. It'll wash." She smiled as he rested his hands on her shoulders. "Your dad will need you to be ok. He's going to be stuck in there for a while yet."

"He's 78. He was given fifteen years. Fifteen! He'll die in prison." Natalie covered her face with both hands. "He may as well have been sentenced to death."

"Natalie." Ronnie took her hands away from her face. "Listen to me."

"No." She shrugged his hands away angrily. "No, he killed a man. He deserved to be found guilty. He deserved to go to prison. But fifteen years. He may be out in eight. If he's still alive. Good God." She shook her head. "My Dad."

"C'mon." Ronnie pulled her into his arms once more, letting her cry into his shirt once more. "Let it out luv. Av a good cry." He kissed her hair as she stilled in his arms. Moments later she was looking into his eyes. He was so close to her, his guv, his oldest friend that he couldn't stop himself. It was taking advantage, he knew it but he couldn't help it. Moments later her lips were on his and he didn't have the will power or heart to stop her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A/N One more chapter I think then back to The New Boy. Please let me know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer not mine. Neither is Scott and Bailey - slight cross over.**

**The Morning After**

The bedroom was dark when she opened her eyes. Blinking she knew she had slept longer than she had intended to, than she thought she would. It was the day after her father had been sentenced to fifteen years for manslaughter. It still seemed unreal. That it had happened to someone else. Someone else had a dad that was a killer. Closing her eyes again she knew she had to face the rest of the day. If nothing else she had to tell her boys that Grandpa was now a convicted killer. Then there was Ronnie. Her DS. Her oldest and closest friend. The friend she had kissed as if her life depended on it the night before. Biting her lip she wondered if he would ever talk to her again.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Morning." Joe smiled as he bounded into the office. Angie smiled back.

"Coffee?"

"No thanks. That stuff is poison."

"What's that pink stuff you've got then?" Matt asked as the new boy lifted the plastic drinks bottle.

"Protein shake."

"Nice." Ronnie walked in, picked up a mug of coffee and walked out of the office. Angie frowned as Matt watched his friend go.

"What's wrong with 'im?" Joe asked innocently. Angie sighed as Matt reached across his desk before picking up the jacket he had abandoned when he had arrived.

"Think about it." Angie sipped her drink. "Ronnie is always the first one in. After the Guv. Even before Wes gets here."

"Wes is chronically early." Joe frowned as Angie raised her eyebrows as their new DI walked in,

"Wouldn't hurt you to be early once in a while. Where's Ron?"

"Good question." Joe shook his head. Angie rolled her eyes, knowing none of the men in the room had seen what she had.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Gardening leave." Natalie sighed as the bell rang. Tugging her robe closer to her she silently hoped it was Ronnie walking back into the house, that he was still her friend and she hadn't ruined everything by kissing him. She had lost her mum and effectively her dad in the last few months. Losing him was going to be too much.

"Open this bloody door, Chandler!" Natalie smiled slightly, knowing only one person would bellow through her letter box at 730 on a Tuesday morning.

"Gill."

"Nat." Gill Murray walked into the hallway. "I heard about your dad. You ok?"

"Who told you?"

"Grapevine." Gill stated. "Why aren't you in work?"

"Suspended on full pay until the outcome of my dad's trial."

"Which was yesterday." Gill stated. Natalie closed her eyes, on the verge of tears once more. "You know what it's like in this job. People talk. Coppers are the biggest gossips on God's green Earth. I should know. My lot are always whispering about something."

"Andy leaving Janet alone now?"

"Yes, if he knows what's good for 'im. Now, don't change the subject or I wont tell you about that new DS we got. Half my age but God is 'e easy on the eye." Gill smirked. "I sound like a dirty old woman, anyway go and get your knickers on and I'll make a cuppa." Natalie shook her head, hardly able to believe the woman she had met at Hendon was in her kitchen, calling the shots as she watched. "Get dressed. Go on."

"Ok, ok." Natalie hurried back up the stairs, wondering exactly what her friend was up to.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Ron." Matt caught up with his friend. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nuffin. Nuffin is wrong wiv me son." Ronnie lied as he headed towards the small Vauxhall Corsa, his coat pulled tightly around him.

"Ok." Matt gave in, knowing there was no way he was going to let it lay. His friend was upset and when Ronnie was upset it was usually something big. He just worried it wasn't big enough to turn his friend back to the drink that had nearly destroyed him. Matt started the engine, knowing by the time they had reached the CPS building he would have an idea of what had happened. It was more than the case they had worked on, more than the team watching as Natalie's dad pleaded manslaughter. Ronnie was a captive audience in the car, he knew that he would be able to get the older man to talk. Silenty he pulled the car out of the carpark and into the main road waiting for his friend to tell the truth.

"Ok," Matt stated as he pulled the car into the small carpark opposite the CPS. "Out wiv it."

"I kissed her. Well, she kissed me." Matt smiled slightly when he realised who Ronnie was referring to.

"About time!"

"What if I've blown everything? What if she can't face me now? What if? Oh Matty boy I've ruined everything. I know I 'av. Bloody stupid idiot." He shook his head. Matt watched him for before smirking slightly. He couldn't help it. He knew how Ronnie felt about his boss. How he had behaved when she had been attacked a couple of years earlier.

"No Ron, I think you did the exact opposite." Ronnie looked up in disbelief. "Now come on." He opened the car door leaving Ronnie to wonder if his young friend was right.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So." Gill took a mouthful of coffee. "Have Ronnie and the others looked after you? With all this crap with your dad?"

"Yes." Natalie looked at the wooden table top. "Why are you here?"

"I can't believe you have to ask. If I had known I'd have been here for the trial." She took a deep breath. "Actually Matt Devlin called me. Said you needed your friends around you. So here I am." Natalie smiled slightly, it seemed the one time baby of the team had grown up.

"He's a good boy."

"Yes, he is. How's Ronnie?"

"Gill."

"Come on. You know I got more than you in basic interrorgation techniques." Natalie rolled her eyes.

"Interviewing."

"Yeah, well. Come on. Have you fallen out with him or what? Because I have no idea why you would be here when you could be at the station. Wes tells me you are not officially suspended. That you used some annual leave and had compassionate leave to look after your mum."

"No, it's not official but it was advised by the cheif super."

"Sod him." Gill folded her arms. "You are not your father. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone."

"Maybe I do."

"Who exactly?" Gill placed her mug back on the kitchen table. "Who do you think you need to explain yourself to?"

"Ronnie."

"Ronnie Brooks? I knew this was about 'im. That's why Matt called me not 'im or you."

"I ruined everything." Natalie sighed. "I ruined everything."

"What? You dozy mare. What happened?"

"I." Natalie stared at the brown liquid in the mug. "I kissed him."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A/N One more chapter to go. Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer - see previous

Big Deal?

"Hold on a minute." Gill paused as her friend looked at the wooden table. "All this because you kissed Ronnie Brooks! What did he do? Have a screaming hissy fit and claim sexual harassment? I don't think so, somehow."

"Gill."

"Come on Natalie. What is so bad about you kissing him? Did he recoil in horror?"

"No." Natalie looked away. "No, he didn't. He really didn't."

"Then what?"

"He kissed me back." Natalie spoke quietly, not seeing the look on Gill's face as she listened to her.

"Don't tell me you slept with him."

"No." Natalie looked up, horrified. "Of course we didn't. I knew I shouldn't have said anything."

"Well, then? What's the problem? You've known Ronnie for years. He's a good bloke."

"Yeah, he is." Natalie sighed. "That's just it. I'm his Guv. That is going to make things awkward."

"Why?"

"Because I am his Guv! Gill, you know what I mean. What you think if you'd kissed Andy?"

"Oh that is an image I didn't need this time of day. Some of us 'avent eaten yet." Natalie pulled a face as Gill looked aghast at the very notion of kissing her former employee. "Now the new boy."

"Gill!"

"What a girl can look. I'm probably old enough to be his Gran but there you are. Now, why are you so wound up about this? Get your arse into your office and front it out. You've got to be there at some point, you can't use your Dad's trial as an excuse forever."

"I know." Natalie lifted her mug to her lips. "I know."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Say that again." Matt stated quietly as Ronnie ran a hand over his face. It was clear the older man had barely slept.

"You heard."

"You kissed the Guv. Our Guv? Natalie Chandler."

"Yeah. That's the one. What? You think I was going to confess to snogging Wes? Give me a break." Ronnie looked at his young friend in horror. Matt pulled a face.

"No I was not thinking that." Matt frowned. "But since you mention it, it's been more realistic than you and Natalie. Especially since you've always denied there was anything between you both."

"Are you driving this car or not?"

"Ron."

"I took advantage of her. Alright? She's my mate, not long lost her Mum, her ex husband is a piece of. Well you know about David and her Dad was just given what amounts to a life sentence for a man 'is age. She was at a low ebb, vulnerable and I took advantage. I should know better."

"Did she push you away?"

"No."

"Did she slap you? Knee you where it hurts?"

"No, course she didn't." Ronnie glared at him. "She's not like that."

"Ok." Matt nodded. "She didn't throw you out of the house. She didn't call you all the names walking?"

"No."

"Then I would put it down to experience and carry on. Unless?"

"Unless what? C'mon Matty boy out with it." Ronnie sighed, knowing he was going to get advice whether he wanted it or not. Matt smiled at him.

"Unless, you and Natalie finally see what the rest of us have known for years."

"And what is that?" Ronnie asked.

"I heard you when Natalie was stabbed. I heard what you said to her when we were waiting for the ambulance, when we thought she was dying."

"You weren't supposed to. She never said anything about it." Ronnie frowned. "So, I thought she didn't hear me. Anyway, you say stuff in that situation. I was the one holding you when you were bleeding all over the sodding tarmac as I seem to remember. May have mentioned that you are an alright kid."

"I am not a kid. But yeah I remember. I reckon Natalie does as well. Talk to her."

"And say what?" Ronnie paused as the car pulled into the space Matt had chose.

"The truth. Just for once tell her the truth." Ronnie shook his head before stepping out of the car and heading towards the autere building.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hiya Guv." Wes smiled as Natalie walked back into the MIU offices. She smiled slightly, aware that Wes was busy.

"Hiya. Have I missed anything?"

"Not much." Angie sighed as Joe handed her a stack of files. "Paper work for me, oh joy." She rolled her eyes as he walked away.

"Ma'am."

"Don't call me that." Natalie sighed. "I'm not the Queen. Where's Ronnie and Matt?"

"Following a lead on the Masters case." Joe replied. "Something about talking to the widow."

"Ok." Natalie folded her arms. "I'll be in my office. It still is my office?"

"Course." Wes smiled as Natalie turned to see Ronnie and Matt in the doorway behind her.

"Guv." Matt nodded before glancing back at Ronnie.

"Matt. Ron." Natalie avoided Ronnie's gaze as her oldest friend stared at the floor. Matt shook his head sadly. It was going to be a long day.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A/N Maybe one more chapter left x Please review


	4. Chapter 4

**disclaimer not mine - set directly after last Wednesday's episode. So spoilers.**

**Picking up the Pieces**

Natalie closed her eyes as she listened to Matt explain that he hadn't been able to contact Ronnie since the man responsible for Wes' murder had been killed in the court room. She knew Ronnie had been upset by Wes' death. The men had been friends for years, the whole team had been hit hard but none more than Ronnie. She bit her lip, sharing Matt's worries that the man most of the junior officers of the team considered a father figure had gone back to the bottle. Suddenly the kiss from a few days before seemed trivial when one of her team had been killed.

"Matt, he wouldn't." She paced her living room, glad that both her boys were away for the weekend. "Ronnie would never do that."

"I hope not." Matt sank into the chair next to the phone. "I know he wouldn't plan to. I know that but since you both fell out he's been different."

"We haven't fallen out." Natalie sighed. "It's."

"It's more than that." Matt paused. "I know, he told me. He told me what happened after your Dad's trial. He was gutted. Thought he'd ruined everything between you. That you and he would never be the friends you were because he had taken advantage."

"What?" Natalie paused. "What did you say?"

"Ronnie was upset. I called him on it and he told me." Matt sighed, holding the phone to his ear as Alesha walked into the room. He glanced up at his wife as she crossed the room to him.

"This goes no further." Natalie began pacing her living room. "You know Ronnie would never take advantage of anyone. And he didn't. I don't even know why I am discussing this with you. Wes is dead. He has been murdered and the man responsible is dead."

"Well."

"The man who pushed his son into killing innocent people is dead. Both his kids have had their lives ruined. His daughter will serve life for murder and his son is probably going to be inside for the forseeable." Natalie sighed. "It isn't going to change the fact Wes is dead. We haven't even had his funeral yet."

"I know." Matt sighed. "Look, I'll ask Alesha to keep trying his mobile. Me and Joe are going looking for him. Alison from the supermarket said he was buying a bottle of vodka but left it."

"See?" Natalie sighed. "He left it. It sounds like he was tempted but he left it. That has to mean something."

"Yeah." Matt sighed. "I hope so."

"Call me. When you find him. Please."

"Ok Guv." Matt smiled slightly at the concern in her voice. "Ok."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ronnie shoved his hands in his overcoat pockets as he walked along the rain soaked pavement. He couldn't help but think about how close he had come to drinking the bottle of vodka. He shook his head, briefly considering the money he had wasted. It had been an expensive bottle and he had just left it on the counter. He could have done that without paying for it first. Sighing he kept walking, oblivious to the rain now soaking the almost deserted London street. His friend was dead. They had so many near misses, so many dangerous cases that had almost killed one or all of them now someone had died. Wes. Happy go lucky, dependable Wes. It just seemed wrong. The man had done nothing wrong, hadn't hurt anyone but someone, a kid on a motorbike had killed him. Closing his eyes he remembered how it felt when Matt had been shot, when Natalie had been stabbed. He felt the familiar twist of fear in his gut as he realised he still wanted a drink. He wanted to keep his life but having a drink would stop the pain. He had felt the same when the others had been injured. He was still an addict, an alky and he always would be. Sighing he looked up, almost surprised to find himself staring at a familiar doorway.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You said what?" Alesha watched as Matt grabbed his jacket.

"I told her I know about her and Ronnie."

"Oh, bet that went down well." Alesha raised an eyebrow. "She's Cameron's godmother but I would never have just brought that up. Not unless she did."

"I'm worried about Ron."

"He will not touch a drink. He probably just needed some time." She touched his hand. "You know Ronnie. He's the sensible one. You know that. He thinks too much of his girls to risk losing them."

"Yeah." Matt squeezed her hand. "Can you call Henry? See if he's heard anything."

"I'll ring round everyone. Kate was pretty shaken up after that business in court."

"So was Jake." Matt smiled as he realised that Kate and Jake were very probably together and it would save on one phonecall. "What about James? George?"

"Yeah. I'll try Liz and Angie too."

"Don't." Matt frowned. "His ex has been waiting for him to go back on the drink. It'll just confirm what she thought she already knew. I'll drive round with Joe. See if we can find him."

"Be careful." Alesha kissed him gently. "Just. After what happened to Wes. I."

"I'll be careful." He kissed her back before grabbing his keys and heading out the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Natalie stared at the now silent phone, swearing and cursing under her breath. She knew Ronnie Brooks enough to know he could be impulsive and fool hardy when he wanted to be. But going back on the drink, blaming himself for her kissing him? That was stupid. Wasn't it? Or was Wes' murder enough to just push him a little further back towards the bottle? She stood as she heard the almost reluctant knock on the door. Seconds later she was pulling the ornate door open to see a familiar figure with his back to her.

"Not your fault." She spoke calmly. "Bloody idiot."

"Yeah." Ronnie nodded as he turned to face her. "Guv."

"Oh Ron." She pulled him into her arms, hoping that things hadn't changed. That Ronnie was still the man she had known for thirty years, that just this time they could pick up the pieces and go on as before. Ronnie sniffed before pulling back.

"Natalie."

"Come in." She smiled at him as he looked at the floor.

"I'm sober. I didn't touch a drop. You and Wes got me clean. You, Matt and the others give me a reason to stay clean. There ain't no way I'd dishonour my friendship with Wes with ruining all the work he did. You did."

"Come in." Natalie tugged his hand as he blinked back the tears. In that moment she had a feeling things were going to be ok. Different, but that was ok. She could help him pick up the pieces this time, just as he had helped her before.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A/N I think that's the end of this story. More L&O Uk soon


End file.
